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  1. It is without doubt. Universities are fucked. Emblazoned with years of shit they have no future.
    They are cathedrals of consumption where young adults enter, bushy-eyed and bright-tailed and leave disillusioned, depressed, riddled with anxiety or off to the city with an internship from Daddy’s friends or worse KPMG.
    The beloved institutions suck them in, process them and spit out the bones ready for a life of banality. We are bored in the universities! They do not foster free-thinking, critical-thinking or any of the advertised additional extras. They crush difference; they foster critical, but not too critical thinking. Escape now, before it has you. Think for yourself, think as we do.
    The damned who do not escape are reeled further in. By the time you are a member of staff you must shit out publications like clockwork or you shall be disciplined. Your thoughts are ours, you no longer own your mind, now force out profitable insights! Any originality, any propensity for subversive beautiful thought is taught to languish away. Knowledge for knowledges sake unless that knowledge does not have a profit margin, unless it cannot be turned into as many publications possible.
    Universities are not places of learning. They never have been. They are places of preparation. To prepare you for an anxiety-ridden life of banalities. To prepare you for a modern workforce. There is no hope while universities are run like businesses. There is no hope for universities to improve the world while they wallow like bloated corpses of finance. While students subversive tendencies are disciplined, while every drop of content is wrung out of lecturers and researchers there is no hope. Hope is an occupied hallway, an occupied lecture theatre; hope is staff uniting against management. Hope is when every dean and every vice-chancellor are hung from the top of the stairs.

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